I loved once, a boy so beautiful through and through that he made a lasting impression in my soul. He haunts my dreams and my waking hours alike. He infiltrates my longings and my secret thoughts. In the shower I yearn for him and crush myself into the dripping wall as though I could crush the need away. But no such luck. His warmth has touched my very core and there it lives still, forever killing me in my isolation from its source. I catch, on occasion, his smell floating on the air, irreplaceable it hits me and I fall, heart first back into his intoxicating memory. I love him. But he is gone and so I am gone. We are over, together. I look now only to escape the endless nothingness that I live without him. I look now only for an out.